I can’t imagine not breastfeeding. I have had struggles while feeding some of my 6 children. Some worse than others. But I never gave up. Its hard sometimes. I have given up so much for them. Right now I don’t eat dairy, eggs, almonds or coconuts. I’m not gonna lie, there are days when I think this really sucks. But then that moment comes when my baby wakes up and anxiously squirms in my arms trying to find his food, then he latches on, and sighs. When I look at his beautiful little face and he looks at mine and I know how magical it is, this special bond we have. Its not something you can explain. It makes me whole heart flutter and I well up with tears, like a warmth that goes through your entire being.
Even though this little boy has been outside of my body for almost 9 months we are still one, I still jump when he cries, or wake up when he moves at night, he still relaxes in my arms and wakes when I try to lay him down.
I feel so blessed that I have 6 amazing children. That they have each been able to nurse, some longer than others. That I have given up myself for them. The power of breastmilk never ceases to amaze me. I have nourished this little person for almost the last 18 months, 9 within and now almost 9 outside, and he is amazing. Soon he will start some solids. It scares me with his food issues. But I think he is ready. It also makes me kind of sad too though.
I know I am the most important person in his life. I know, as hard as it can be at times, I wouldn’t change it for anything. I hope we are able to breastfeed for a long time to come. I know, even now sometimes, I get discouraged. But I also know that as he gets older, he can express how special it is to him. Breastfeeding a baby is different than breastfeeding a toddler.
I love being the mom. I love what moms are given, this special feeling, this special place in their baby’s hearts. I wouldn’t trade it for all the money in the world.