Time goes by so fast anymore

I feel like my days go by so quickly when I look back at the past few months.
Our lives are so busy.
I have a 4 year old. Where I live they have “junior kindergarten.” I don’t agree with JK. It’s full day every day all day long here now. When my other kids were young it wasn’t. I didn’t do it with my oldest. My 2nd we tried for 2 months. Her doctor thought it might help with her tantrums. It didn’t. I took her out. My 3rd, nope. The 4th we saw some clingy issues so I approached the school about a part time enrollment. He went every other day for the mornings only. So every other day from 9-11:30. It worked wonderfully. Sp with #5 I said no I wouldn’t. They recently started what they call full day kindergarten. I don’t think any 3-4 year should be at school all day long. Yes this is great for parents who work, but for parents like me, not so much. So I always choose not to. But let me tell you about my boy.
The first day of school we did work at home. We said I was homeschooling him. He loved it. I had bought him a little Thirty One lunchbox for snacks when we go out but he wanted to pack it. He already had a JuJuBe mini be so he packed that too. The first day was fun. The 2nd day my other kids went to school, he packed his backpack and lunchbox and had to take it with us when we went to take them to school. He cried when I wouldn’t let him go. It broke my heart. I started to question my not signing him up. So my husband and I did some serious thinking and talking. I called the school and told them I was interested in signing him up part time.
He started the following Tuesday. He liked it. Thursday he had fun. And it went ok for a few weeks.
He often has issues falling asleep at night and will be up too late coming out over and over. So last week he has an especially hard time Wednesday night. Thursday morning I could tell he was emotional but I thought he would get past it. He cried over something, shoes, jacket, who knows now. I took him to school and turned off the van. He cried because he wanted to listen to the song. Uh oh. He went into the line just fine though.
So I was home cleaning when the phone rang. It was the school. His teacher. She said he had been very emotional and crying and wanted to come home. I went and picked him up. He was better but still very emotional.
So today he hid his backpack and lunch box from me so he didn’t have to go. I didn’t make him. I always said I wasn’t going to be that parent that forces their crying child into school.
And then this afternoon he had hockey. We were running late anyway so it was rushed and 15 minutes after going out he comes over crying wanting off. I tried to get him to stay on and make him feel better, to find out why he wanted off. But nothing, just tears.
So here I sit wondering what to do. I don’t want to force him. He is only 4. But I am wondering if he is using those tears against me. He has always been more emotional and babyish. He is definitely not as mature as my others at this age. But he is only 4. I told him he was going to school Thursday and maybe he will. Sometimes he acts like he likes it and others he says he doesn’t. Trying to find the right balance it so hard.
Of course his teacher’s brilliant plan is to make him go every day. We won’t be taking her advice.

He was so excited that first day. I just wish he could be back at that place. It breaks my heart seeing him sad.

He was so excited that first day. I just wish he could be back at that place. It breaks my heart seeing him sad.

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